This is the answer to the riddle of who I am.
I discover a diamond at the bottom of a deep, dark cave. Will I be able to get out of here with it?
The way to happiness is paved with good things. Will I be able to find the road?
I decide that the best way to prove he's the Happiest Man Alive is to try his system out on myself.
The next logical thing to do is to put out an advertisement for the real Happiest Man Alive to call me.
I have a better chance of getting struck by lighting than the happiest man alive picking up the phone and calling me.